Aug 312007

Hi All… figured I’d thank you for the support, and better explain my emotional ramblings (as I lie here trying to wind down and sleep, battling a 15″ CRT that wants to emulate a disco light).

A little about my personal life. I certainly realise I’ve had it a lot easier than some, but I’ve had some rough moments.

This includes witnessing a marriage breakup of my parents back in the early 90’s. (Being the ham in the sandwitch is no fun at all.) Bullying both verbally and physically over my years at school, not just from individuals, but from entire classes. Even some sexual abuse (from a female student, more on that later).

So it’s little wonder that I am sometimes a bit on the fragile side. Am I looking at blaming others for my problems? Well no. I’ve moved on for the most part.

This includes the one case of sexual abuse. Without going into details, it was back in 1992, and involved a year 7 female student at my primary school. I’m not planning on hunting her down though. If I do happen to come into contact, I only wish to know two things:

  • Has she committed the same act on others?
  • (most important) Has she gotten help for her psychological condition?

What I’ve heard… this kind of abuse starts when the abuser themselves, is abused in some manner. I’m willing to forgive (not forget) the act if the guilty party is willing to, or has, undergone some rehabilitation & councelling on the matter.

As for the bullying… the worst of it occurred in 1995. I don’t exaggerate when I say I had a good 20 or so students from the year 6 class ganging up on me. I don’t recall every incident, but I do recall getting surrounded and screamed at.

It didn’t help that I didn’t get along at all with my teacher at the time. The problem solved itself however… the main ring leader wound up switching to BBC and the group kinda collapsed. The teacher also wound up switching schools if I recall, not sure of the exact reasons.

So yeah, I carry a bit of baggage around with me. I don’t let it stop me with what I’m doing now… and it has very little to do with my outburst a few days ago — which was brought on by more recent issues.

Right now… I’ve been trying to wrap my head around some telecommunications topics for an exam I have on Tuesday. (I’m repeating the subject from last year — so I really want to pass this time.)

Progress has been slow however, since I haven’t completely grasped all the concepts. My apathy/laziness and a sub-optimal teaching method (for me, not everyone learns the same way) are likely to blame there.

Needless to say, I’ll be looking forward to the upcomming Christmas/New Year break. I’ll like it even better if I can put these engineering skills of mine to some constructive use.