Dec 102014

This afternoon we started getting some unusual calls.  Now I hate those survey calls, or telemarketing calls wanting to sell you some kind of service.  I especially hate them when they’re delivered by a recorded voice, and there’s a special place in HELL for those which claim to have found “problems with your computer”.

My troubles started earlier this afternoon.  Having gotten home from work around 3PM, I make a call to my father to find out what was happening tonight, got no answer, and so I just hung up rather than leaving a message (it wasn’t important).  He rang back and we had a quick discussion.

Some time later, the phone rings.  Now, normally when the phone rings, it’s two bursts, then silence, then two more bursts, then silence … etc.  This had a different initial rhythm: one long burst, then silence, then the usual pattern.  I answered, only to be greeted by silence, then an automated voice.  I hung up straight away.

Normally that’d be the end of it.  Then history repeats itself, after 5 minutes the phone ring again.  Same pattern.  I answer, and get the same silence, followed by a voice recording.  I hang up, again.

Cue this happening about 3 or 4 times.  So I look up the Telstra website and found their help-desk number.  I also paid a visit to the Do Not Call register for good measure.  (We had done it before, but maybe it had expired?).  A computer system answers (typical), and after answering a few prompts, I’m told there will be a 7 minute wait.

Well, 7 minutes turned out to be 25 minutes, but who’s counting?  I guess Steven Travalgia is right about the “variable viscosity of time” theory, it certainly applies to help-desk queues!  That said, at least I wasn’t getting nuisance calls.

I explain the situation to the operator.  Naturally, not being the account holder, they cannot do much, but at least there’s a record of me calling, they mention they can enable tracing to find out what’s going on.  They give me a direct line for their unwanted calls department, and I reply stating I’ll take some logs of what happens and call that number when I have some evidence.

17:04 4 rings, dial tone on pick up
17:05 3 rings, stopped ringing before answer
17:12 2 rings, dial tone on pick up
17:52 Answered and recorded.

I recorded this (apologies for the clipping, my mic gain was up a bit high):

Now it’s worth noting that nothing currently plugged into the phone line can receive SMS messages.  Our phone line terminates in our garage at a ADSL2+ central splitter (installed by yours truly).

One CAT5e cable is divided into one ADSL circuit and 3 voice circuits and runs into the office, providing service for the ADSL router/modem, a multi-function fax/printer/scanner, a General Electric speaker phone (with corroding AA batteries, so maybe that phone will go in the bin now), a (Telstra-branded) cordless phone base station and a 56k modem.

The other feed coming out of the splitter box is original house wiring, and terminates upstairs with an old Telecom Australia Touchfone 200 that probably remembers the days of our house having a 6-digit number.  (Our line is that old.)

Nothing that will receive messages, or confuse the hell out of the delivery centre.  It seems if there’s nothing on the line, they just keep ringing persistently, making the service a very cheap and efficient way to harass someone at all hours of the night!

Sadly, a quick search does not tell one how to disable this service.  I have no reason to receive SMS messages on a land-line, I have a mobile for that.  If I find out how, I’ll be updating this.